Uncategorized

정 

is a Korean word that can’t be accurately and completely translated into English. My best translation would be,

a sweet and endearing fondness and care for someone, whom you know well or are getting to know 

I think it’s funny how sometimes your 정 for someone can increase as they’ve disappointed or hurt you, as you’ve seen more of their flaws and what makes them really human.

It shatters the ideas of the person you had in mind and instead brings life to this more complex and clumsy human, who you can more easily relate to than before. Who you can find comfort knowing that you don’t suck alone. This person sucks too. 

It brings a fondness because you witness some of the weakest parts of this person, freeing you to show the weakest sides of you. And if you have an upsurge of 정 after seeing their mess, it’s hoped that they would somehow see the gold in your mess too. 

정… it’s a powerful force of love.

Advertisements
Standard
Uncategorized

to be a house devoted

I have to admit I’ve forgotten I come from a house of fire. People filled with undeniable joy and hope in the unseen. I’ve definitely forgotten how that feels and what it means to live it out a hundred and ten percent. 

It felt almost foreign being in the environment today. The shouting, the energy, the amount of zeal. Almost new but just familiar enough to ride along and remind myself. “No fear in love, boldness is our DNA, freedom is our banner…”

It felt refreshing. New. A little odd because what we see in front of us is not like the old. What we long for is also not the old but something we cannot see. We’re in this limbo phase of knowing there’s more, waiting for it to unravel, believing that it will happen, without anything else to latch onto but that promise alone. Stretching. And discouraging at times. But definitely growing and deepening.

I love this house. Not only for what it has done for me but also because its purposes and visions align so well with the desires of Kingdom and my heart. 

Isaiah 61. Ring inside each of us, and echo on through. 

Standard
Uncategorized

wait what?

So the last hour has been pretty intense.

There were only five of us today, ready to go to meet our client in Jamsil. I had the files.  I was excited. We walked out. All of the sudden he yells out hey get your own cab, us three will ride with him. He took the files from my hands and got in the car without looking back. He didn’t even tell me the full address. 

Immediately I did what I do best during a crisis- TAKE ACTION. FORGET FEELINGS. I immediately got in a cab with my partner, told the taxi driver the address except he couldn’t even understand what I was saying due to his age and hearing. We left that one and got into another one. Told this guy to hurry please with a bit of impatience in my tone. 

I thought the worst had come but it wasn’t over yet. Taxi guy messed up the directions so we took the wrong turn. During the many stoplights we encountered, I reflected on what had just happened. I sat there critizing my boss for his asshole move. Why were my partner and I even going? He had the files. He didn’t even need us to go. I was upset, impatient at the driver and my partner who kept asking questions, and strongly disappointed in my boss and the entire legal/ business field itself.

We arrived a good ten minutes late to the meeting so we were directed to the waiting room instead. I am here, sitting with my partner. Dumbfounded at the ruthlessness of what just happened. Wishing I had brought a book or something. The view up here is nice. Apartments look like lego toys. The Han is not sparkling due to the fog in the air. 

This is the life of a wide-eyed intern under a ruthless lawyer boss. 

Standard
Uncategorized

There’s a new momentum I feel these days. A new rhythm that’s been taking me and leading me somewhere… somewhere. There’s less fear in dabbling with things I cannot see, there’s a strange boldness to tackle and to butt heads and fight. There’s a deeper resilience with a higher trust in things above. There have been signs. Signs of good things, new things happening to people around me, and I’m taking them as signs for myself, victories I claim as my own.

We’re moving, going somewhere… don’t know exactly where but… somewhere.  

Standard
Uncategorized

six things for june

side note- can’t believe i was in japan a whole MONTH ago. i cry

  1. my brother is moving to austin this upcoming year! to keep it short, this is like breakthrough for him because these past two years have been rough. excited for him and for life in general…
  2. i wish GOD could just hurry things up sometimes or just hand me whatever it is i need. i feel more and more to just be in the waiting, to just keep delighting, to keep persisting in what is here and now. not gonna lie, every day is a struggle. sometimes every hour of the day.
  3. fadjflksad;flfklf. fear makes you do stupid things. so unfortunate. yeah i cant articulate it other than just dlfjk;dfds
  4. oh right- i dont believe men and women can ever be just friends. EVER
  5. every time my mom texts me i want to cry. cry because i miss her a lot, but also because i want to give her some kind of good news that’s happening in my life but there’s not much going on. hence, nothing to really talk about.
  6. i wish i knew had to swag dance, not just get down on the dance floor occasionally dance. when i have kids, they’re going to be dancers so i can live out my dreams through them. also wish i could drum too. been thinking about investing in a keyboard. or drumming lessons.

i think these might be a series

Standard
Uncategorized

not just to graduates

“Do all the other things, the ambitious things — travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality — your soul, if you will — is as bright and shining as any that has ever been.”

 

Link